|
Post by Allison on Mar 30, 2008 21:58:35 GMT -5
Oh my goodness, Carol, your nephews are DARLING!!! I love their little Easter outfits! So cute!
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 1, 2008 16:24:09 GMT -5
Oh my goodness, Carol, your nephews are DARLING!!! I love their little Easter outfits! So cute! Thanks so much, Allison!! I love 'em to pieces!!
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 1, 2008 16:30:21 GMT -5
I just noticed that you can see a picture of my grandparents on the shelf behind Richard and Zach in the first picture. That's too funny after "all that's happened" this week. ;o) Some of you will know what I mean....My Granny is in the purple dress, and grandpa is in the black and white photo with him sitting. I think they look GREAT!! LOl!! I'm just being silly...
The picture on the shelf at the far right is me with my brother back before either of us was married. Probably about 10 years ago. Back when I was skinny....That was our Christmas gift to our mom that year.
Also notice the "lamb pillow" on the back of the couch? You would not believe how many sheep/lambs my mom has in her house. I love 'em!!! There are some pictures and magnets on the fridge in the 3rd picture too.
Ok, I'm rambling....I'm nervous about kara-tay tonight...it makes me ramble....
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 20, 2008 21:58:46 GMT -5
Sometimes I just marvel at how well Haley has done in her life so far with the hand she's been dealt. Here's the latest...
I talked to her yesterday, and come to find out there was a big mess at her house on Thursday night of last week. Her mom is an idiot, as I've explained many times before. And her stepdad is an absolute loser and a big drunk. Well, I guess her mom and stepdad were fighting, and it got physical. So Haley and our older niece left the house and called the cops. The cops came, but of course her mom didn't want to press charges. So they gave Haley the choice of pressing charges, since she called the cops, and so she did. So her stepdad was taken to jail. But I guess later on that night he was released on his own recognisance (spelling?) So he came back home and was mad at Haley for pressing charges. So he started screaming at her calling her awful names and being downright mean. I guess he was acting in a menacing way, so she got into her karate stance. Well, he said something about, "Oh, what are you gonna do?" She said, "You'll see." So he lunged at her...she blocked his lunge, punched him in the nose and kicked him in the nuts. Then she went and called the cops again. This time he stayed in jail for assaulting a minor. I'm so proud of her. What a @sshole he is! So she spent the next night at a friend's house and was supposed to move in with my in-laws today. Her mom is now blaming her saying that her stepdad didn't do anything to her that it was all Haley. What a mom. She always sticks up for that idiot.
No one should have to deal with this kind of crap, especially a 15-yr-old girl that's trying to make it through high school and her adolescence. She has no good parental figure. Her mom's a crack whore and her dad's a deadbeat. She needs to distance herself from her mom, because she's never going to change. Never. We'll see what happens. I can imagine it hurt her stepdad's nose. I know how hard she punches! He'd better never lay a hand on her again, or there will be 3 big uncles breathing down his neck.
|
|
|
Post by Allison on Apr 20, 2008 22:03:55 GMT -5
Wow! Good for Haley, what a tough cookie! I am so happy that she is getting herself out of that situation. It sounds like her mom is one of those people who HAS to be in a relationship... hopefully that won't rub off on Haley. Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, though. I really hope everything works out with her. She just reminds me so much of Becca, from what you've said, and I hope both girls can be resilient in both their unfortunate circumstances.
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 21, 2008 8:37:42 GMT -5
Wow! Good for Haley, what a tough cookie! I am so happy that she is getting herself out of that situation. It sounds like her mom is one of those people who HAS to be in a relationship... hopefully that won't rub off on Haley. Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, though. I really hope everything works out with her. She just reminds me so much of Becca, from what you've said, and I hope both girls can be resilient in both their unfortunate circumstances. Yes, her mom is one of those people. She has to have a man in her life. And I'm afraid that Haley seems to feel that way too. She's been talking about her "boyfriends" since she was 11 or 12. And as soon as she's broken up with someone, then she's talking about her new boyfriend. I tell her, maybe you just need to take a break from boys and concentrate on yourself. Supposedly that's what she's doing now. She's going to prom, but with a guy that's a friend of hers. I'm planning on taking her dress shopping later in the week. That should be a hoot. Thanks so much, Allison. I also hope things work out for Becca and Haley. It's so sad that kids have to have such hard lives. Their lives are going to be hard enough when they grow up, it would've been nice if they could've been kids for a while. That's something that Haley says now and then....I just wish I could be a kid.
|
|
|
Post by Allison on Apr 21, 2008 10:33:52 GMT -5
Hopefully now that she's away from her Mom, she'll be in a better situation and will be able to just be a kid! Definitely keep us updated on everything!
It's really great you are taking her Prom-dress shopping, Carol! I think that'll be something really special to her. I did that in Chicago with one of my favorite aunts my senior year, and it's something that still makes me smile, 8 years later. We had so much fun!
|
|
|
Post by LPS NANA on Apr 21, 2008 10:40:36 GMT -5
Good for Haley. It sounds like she has to be an adult well before her time and that is so sad.
The fact that her mother wasn't upset that he tried to assault her daughter is absolutely horrible. Your kids should always come first no matter what. I'm am so proud of her for being able to defend herself. Now he knows that he is messing with the wrong girl. Mom may take it but Haley won't GOOD GIRL!!!
I watched my ex stepfather beat on my mother years ago. My mom always protected me and told him to stop as I was in the room and crying. My mom canned him years ago thank goodness but it has left bad memorys for me.
Alot of times if you grow up in a certain enviroment you see things and want to live your life in the opposite way. Sounds like Haley is on the right track. HUGS to you all and I hope things really work out for Haley and everyone. She's on the right track Carol and she has a loving family behind her.
|
|
|
Post by mrs"e" on Apr 21, 2008 14:02:01 GMT -5
Crotch kickin' runs in the family. Go Haley!! She's lucky to have you and Richard. You're a wonderful aunt.
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 21, 2008 15:06:01 GMT -5
Thanks, Allison, Kim, and Cind"e". I appreciate your kind words and sentiments. We're really lucky to have a niece like her too.
Although I talked to my brother-in-law just a bit ago (the karate one, not Haley's dad.) And he said that Haley did NOT stay with my in-laws last night! She better not have stayed at her mom's house. We can't understand why she's doing this? Why, when she has a perfectly good and safe (and quiet) place to go, she won't do it. She keeps saying she will, but she doesn't. My brother-in-law was irritated with her about it (in his words, "he's sick of her sh#t, saying one thing and doing another.") Well, I don't want to be that harsh about it. There is obviously a reason she's dragging her feet. We can't figure it out, but we don't know what's going on in her head. Her mind is a totally f-ed up place right now. He doesn't even know all the crap she's been through. So I'm not going to judge why she's doing what she's doing. BUT, I'm going to tell her that she needs to think about us a little bit too. I don't want to sound selfish, but me and Richard (and her grandma) worry about her so much there. We're constantly wondering what's happening to her, what illegal activities are going on there. So much crap. She needs out. I just cry sometimes when I think about her not moving out when she could.
She is supposedly getting an order-of-protection against her stepdad today, so I would think that would mean if he's there, she can't be.
Anyway, I'm going to be taking her to karate tonight, so I'm going to talk to her about it then.
Sometimes I think she is so used to the chaos that she's grown up around, that the quiet at my in-laws seems like it would be really boring. She even told me once that it would be so boring to be there. I said, "Boring? You have your cell phone, you have high-speed internet, you have cable and a TV all to yourself. How can you be bored?" But I think it's because there isn't yellling and fighting and pot-smoking and white trash behavior that she's used to. She has to realize there is a better way out there.
|
|
|
Post by Allison on Apr 21, 2008 19:59:02 GMT -5
Sometimes I think she is so used to the chaos that she's grown up around, that the quiet at my in-laws seems like it would be really boring. She even told me once that it would be so boring to be there. I said, "Boring? You have your cell phone, you have high-speed internet, you have cable and a TV all to yourself. How can you be bored?" But I think it's because there isn't yellling and fighting and pot-smoking and white trash behavior that she's used to. She has to realize there is a better way out there. Maybe she's worried about rules, or loss of freedom? That's the only thing I can think of. Becca's mom lets her do whatever (she's 13 and has a 17 year old boyfriend AND wears make-up and low-cut tops to school!) and she always gets upset at her and Bella's Dad for not letting her do that at his house. Hopefully that isn't the case. Good luck talking to her, hopefully you can reason with her!
|
|
|
Post by mrs"e" on Apr 21, 2008 20:10:52 GMT -5
Haley may feel a "motherly" instinct toward her own mother. She may feel that if she leaves, no one will take care or look after her mom as good as she can. Sticky situation, but it may be the case. Hang in there.
|
|
|
Post by mrsvalden on Apr 21, 2008 20:54:07 GMT -5
Both of those are very real possibilities, Allison and Elizabeth. I do think she likes the fact that she can just walk down the street and see some of her friends when she's at her mom's house. I don't think any of her friends live anywhere near my in-laws. I think she would feel a little more isolated at my in-laws. I think it's a big factor that my mother-in-law has been in the nursing home for over 9 months recovering from a staph infection in her replaced knee. She just finally recently got the knee replaced again and is having therapy. Hopefully she will soon be able to go home. I think that will help Haley immensely. She's very close to my mother-in-law, and not at all with my father-in-law (He once told her, while sloshed, that her older sister would always be his favorite, because she was his first grandchild. Haley has trouble getting over things like that.) And her dad is super annoying and pesters her some when she's trying to surf the internet and stuff. And he's a loser. But so is her mom.
And I do think you're right, E. She feels a sense of obligation to try to work things out with her mom. To try to have a happy, normal family. I think she still hopes for that. But I'm afraid that ship sailed long ago. And she's probably finally realizing that, but it's still hard for her to let go of the dream.
And there's that sense of obligation to stay and protect her 11-yr-old half-brother. If his dad would take him out of that house and live with him, that would definitely help Haley leave I think.
So, it's such a complicated situation. It really is. And I'm pretty irritated with my brother-in-law for his comment about being sick of her sh#t. He has no idea what it's like to be her. He didn't have to deal with this crap when he was 15, and he still made big mistakes. So he can just shut his pie-hole.
I didn't end up going to kara-tay, because Haley was going to stay home to study for a test. She said she ended up staying with a family friend last night (the lady that takes her to church.) And she was going there some tonight, but she was still going to move in at my in-laws for sure. So I hope so.
Thanks again for reading, friends. I know this is really not the place for discussion like this, but you guys are some of my best friends!
|
|
|
Post by mrs"e" on Apr 21, 2008 20:59:51 GMT -5
This is the perfect place for discussions like this. "Friend's Discussion".
|
|
katydid
White Mouse
SLURP!
Posts: 329
|
Post by katydid on Apr 21, 2008 21:40:06 GMT -5
|
|