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Post by LPS NANA on May 14, 2008 0:03:41 GMT -5
I love the baseball pictures of your nephew. The one where dad is talking to him is adorable. He is looking up at him with the hat so far over his eyes is really really cute. It brought back so many memory's of when my son played t-ball and baseball at that age. I loved to go watch him play. Seeing the little ones playing in the outfield like sitting down, throwing rocks in their gloves. Gosh I miss those days so much. They are really Lucky to have an Aunt and Uncle that care so much about them and are so involved with their lives. I can't wait to retire in 6 months so I can be more involved with the young one's in my family. I just found out that my brothers going to be a Daddy again and we are all so very excited. He has 2 kids ( girl and boy) already but he is also excited and so are they.
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Post by mrsvalden on May 16, 2008 9:46:31 GMT -5
Thanks so much for your kind words, Kim. I also love that one of Zach and my brother.
6 months? Wow! That's awesome! It would be hard to contain my excitement if I was that close. I still have at least 18 years, so I've got a ways to go.
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Post by mrsvalden on May 16, 2008 9:57:52 GMT -5
Thanks for the compliments about Haley, Kim. She really is a sweetheart. Her sister...not so much. But Haley still loves her, even though they fight like cats and dogs most of the time.
Haley is closer to moving in with my in-laws. She said her friend has access to a truck to take her mattress and TV over on Saturday. I hope she does. Although now my father-in-law is being kind of a jerk about it. I guess she was over there the other night and he was grilling her about it. Asking why she wants to move in. Well, duh, jack@ss, you know why. She said he'd been drinking and he says some pretty stupid things when he's sloshed. He's one of those upper-middle-class drunks. He walks around with his vodka class all evening, tinkling his ice. And then falls asleep every night in front of the TV because he's sloshed. But at least he's not violent when he's drunk like her step-dad. And her sister was there too, because she's moved in as well. And that really ticked Haley off, because Ashley is almost 19, been out of high school a year and could have a place of her own. But she wants to mooch off of my in-laws. Haley NEEDS a place to live...a HOME. And now they'll have to be there together, and they'll fight a lot, I'm sure. I'm telling Haley to just ignore her. Let's hope she can. Because if they fight, then my in-laws will get mad and not want them there.
Anyway, my father-in-law gave them a lecture about no drinking, no smoking, no drugs...Ashley does need that lecture. She's the one that's been arrested more than once. She almost had to spend 2 years in jail for theft, but her grandpa got her out of it. She's on probation now and has to do community service and all sorts of stuff. She is trouble. But Haley is not. There was no reason to make Haley feel bad and lecture her about stuff she doesn't do.
And on Sunday we were all together for Mother's Day. And when I picked Haley up and brought her to my in-laws, her dad (who lives in my in-laws basement) said something stupid to her (I don't know exactly what.) But it really hurt her feelings and made her mad. She was in a bad mood from then on. And she was very sullen and quiet at the meal. And my in-laws were questioning her about it. Hello--she's a teenager. She has those moods. Didn't we all? I would get moody and sullen sometimes. Cut her some slack. Her dad is a thingy, and she hates being around him, but it's better than her mom's house. But it's still not that great. And that bothers her that she doesn't have somewhere to go that she's really going to be happy. I wish she would come live with us, but she doesn't want to leave her school and friends.
Anyway, so after supper, she went in on the computer and spent some time in there and chilled out. That's all she needed...a little privacy for a bit. Then she was fine. Well, my karate brother-in-law said that my in-laws were talking smack about her being in such a snit. Oh, come one!!! You can't tell me they don't remember how it was with their boys when they were teenagers. I'm sure my husband was one of the most moody and sullen teens out there. I just hope they don't give her crap about it. Give her some time and space, people!!! They don't know half of what she's been through...none of the family except me and Richard do. And it's worse than they could ever imagine. So they need to back the hell off and just give her a stable home that she can live calmly in and hopefully get herself back on track.
Whew...there I go again...droning on and on. I love that girl so much, and she's hurting so badly. I hate to see it. My in-laws house will definitely be better, but I worry about her there too. Especially now that her sister will be there as well. My mother-in-law is a b!tch, let's be honest. But Haley loves that woman like no one else. She is the most important person in her life. As my husband says..."That just shows how awful poor Haley's life has been that my mother has been the best person in her world." He really doesn't like his mom.
Well, enough of that. Thanks for reading and your comments, Kim!
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Post by mrs"e" on May 16, 2008 10:20:07 GMT -5
What a mess! I'm so sorry she has to suffer like that. She's lucky to have you and Richard, though. Tell her to hang in there, and you hang in there too, Carol.
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Post by mrsvalden on May 16, 2008 10:50:33 GMT -5
What a mess! I'm so sorry she has to suffer like that. She's lucky to have you and Richard, though. Tell her to hang in there, and you hang in there too, Carol. Thanks, sister Cind"e". I really appreciate your support! Love your butt!!
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Post by mrsvalden on Jun 18, 2008 6:25:43 GMT -5
So Haley's 16th birthday is the 24th of this month. But since the family was together on Father's Day, we celebrated her birthday then also. Here's one of the pictures I took. The foot belongs to my brother-in-law that's in karate with us (her uncle.) The funny thing is, she didn't even know his foot was there until I showed her the picture.
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Post by Bibi on Jun 18, 2008 6:31:26 GMT -5
Funny picture!!
I hope she has a great birthday!!!
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Post by LPS NANA on Jun 18, 2008 19:26:17 GMT -5
Great Picture Carol. Love the foot accessory.
How is she doing now? Is she with your in laws now?
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Post by mrsclean987 on Jun 18, 2008 21:27:32 GMT -5
P-U!!!hee hee hee
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Post by starchaser022 on Jun 18, 2008 22:05:11 GMT -5
Aww Sweet Sixteen is such a special birthday!! I wish her the best!!
That pic is too funny!
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Post by mrsvalden on Jun 30, 2008 21:55:51 GMT -5
Well, folks, I'm posting to ask for well wishes, prayers, good vibes, hugs, whatever you can spare for our niece.
She has been in a really bad way for a while. Her home life is horrible, she seriously hates her mom and it's grinding her down. There are some really horrible things that's she had to endure the past few years, and it's getting to be too much. We try to help as much as we can, but without actually being able to adopt her and take her away, we can't fix it.
She actually talked to the police about her mom last week, but it doesn't seem to have helped (I'm not exactly sure what was said, and I don't think her mom has done anything criminal...she's just a horrible mother.)
Anyway, she's deeply depressed, she's so anxious all the time and having panic attacks. She feels sick all the time. She said she almost passed out today.
She hasn't felt up to karate for a couple weeks. Tonight she texted me "I don't know if I'm coming to karate anymore. I have so many problems and if I don't get help soon it's going to be bad. Can you explain the situation to Senseis for me? But I will come and watch when I can."
That broke my heart. Not because she's dropping karate, but because she's hurting so badly. I will miss seeing her those times. So I'm going to try to see her at least once a week, somehow. Maybe I can take her out to eat or something. I know I'm only 40 minutes away, but it feel like forever when I work every week day, or I'm at karate, or doing stuff with my family, and she's at different friends' houses here and there.
She has talked to 2 different therapists there in town, but didn't like either one. So they're sending her to someone here where I live. Hopefully they can help. And hopefully it's soon. I seriously wonder if she might need to be hospitalized to really get away from her stressors and really concentrate on getting well. But I don't want her to go through that. My husband has been in mental hospitals, and they are so unpleasant. She's not as far down as a lot of people yet, and hopefully just seeing a therapist can help.
So anyway...please send some hugs her way (and mine too, please.) This is tearing me apart inside.
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Post by starchaser022 on Jun 30, 2008 22:31:16 GMT -5
Mrsvalden I am so sorry that your niece has to go through this. Anxiety is terrible, I've actually recently had experience with Anxiety and Panic Attacks. I got my first bad panic attack while in Newark Penn Station on the way home from seeing the Christmas Tree in Rockafellar Center. I felt as if my chest closed up and I couldn't breath, my whole body went tingly and numb and I was on the verge of hyperventilating, my heart raced and my hands got very clammy. I was rushed to the hospital and I was so worked up that they had to give me a xanax. Since then I've worked w/ a psychologist and just talked to him about all my stressors and problems I had as a child (my dad was an alcoholic when I was young), It really does help to just talk and let everything out. He also taught me a lot of different coping skills and breathing exercises, and he's also recommended yoga. I'm doing much better and after a couple months of talking to him I only see him on a very sparatic basis now.
Anxiety is very scary and its difficult to deal with even when you have a very supportive home life. Your niece will most definitely be in my prayers. I really hope the therapist will be able to help her sort out her problems, I agree with her about not liking some therapists....I had to visit a few before I met one that I was comfortable with.
Please tell her that I hope she feels better soon and to keep her chin up!
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Post by mrsclean987 on Jun 30, 2008 22:49:57 GMT -5
I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. I hope she can get the help/meds she needs. What a poopy life she's having. This is for you...
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Post by LPS NANA on Jul 1, 2008 11:18:28 GMT -5
Carol I'm so sorry Haley and you guys are going thru this. When I separated from my ex it was very stressful on me. My advice is to make sure she talks to someone. Make sure it is a Psychiatrist as they can prescribe meds. They put me on Xanax and Effexor. This combination was very helpful. After awhile they took me off of the Xanax and I am now just on the Effexor. I haven't had a panic attack in years and has helped me deal with my stresses. It is a very hard thing to deal with what she is going thru and then to have panic attacks on top of it. Just keep a very close eye on her expecially when it comes to her turning to street drugs. The reason I say this is that because I have a good friend, and my boyfriend and myself and we all have kids who are from split homes in their teens ( 16,17,16) and they have turned to street drugs. We all believe it was from the stresses in their young lives and they didn't know how to deal with it. Since then 2 of them (including my son) have come around. We are still having problems with my boyfriends daughter who is 18 but hopefully she comes around soon and realizes it's not the way of life. Anyway I knowI'm rambling but I really can feel for you and Haley as I know that it's very hard and life now adays is really tuff on teenagers. I really hope things come around for her soon. My Heart really goes out to you guys. I'm sending lots of love and hugs your way and will keep Haley in my prayers.
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Post by mrsvalden on Jul 1, 2008 13:47:56 GMT -5
Thanks so much, you guys. I really, really appreciate your kind words and hugs. I know what you mean, Kim. I'm worried about her going down a bad path too, and I'm trying to keep on top of that. But it's so hard when I only see her about once a week.
I talked to her recently, and I'm going to be picking her up for supper tonight. She said that she's going to be meeting with her mom and the police to talk about everything this afternoon. I'm not sure what all that means. I guess I'll find out tonight.
Thanks again...you all are such good friends!
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