Does This Seem Fair? Please Respond!!!

[lpscollector4life]

I have a friend, Jessica (Jess/Jessi), who sat ride beside me in Science. She found a purse that belonged to a girl a grade above us, Erin. We go to a private school so Erin was breaking the rules of what was in her purse. Erin had: A wallet (with $$$), a CELL (which are not allowed), a DIGITAL CAMERA (not allowed), GUM (we cannot have), and lastly, a folded up GOSSIP MAGAZINE! Anyway, Jess tapped me on the shoulder and I said, "Ooh, gum!", then turned away. We then went to lunch and came back and the gum was in Jess' binder! I was with Jess the whole time and never saw her do that. Now Jess and I are being blamed. My homeroom teacher says I was the one who told her to take it- where she heard that I don't know but now hates me. I have a 4.0 and I bet my average is now Fs in her class. Anyway, Erin is not being blamed- which she shouldn't of left the purse and she's not even for having electronics, the magazine, and gum in her purse. Thankfully, the principle is away so the VP is taking over. She is a good friend of our family. She knows I didn't do it, so I am not in trouble that way. It's my homeroom teacher who I hate now cause she put me in ISS! I am not going there anymore which I am sad cause my new school is a team my old school plays and we have cheer-offs. I don't want to cheer off against them! How would you handle this situation? Do you think it's fair? Please tell me cause I need other answeres besides, "Kenzee, it's OK." or "We'll still see ya!" Thank you. This is very hard for me cause of all the 0s I'm gonna make. Please pray for me. Erin feels so bad cause she didn't want it to go this far. She is really nice and everyone likes her. Maybe thats why she never gets in trouble!

[mrs"e"]

I don't think you will be getting "0's" while in ISS. I'm sure every school's policy is different, but in our school districts, students do their daily assignments, sent over by their teachers, while they are in ISS (In-School-Suspension). The only time I've heard of someone getting "0's" is if they are suspended. And the school usually offers ways of making those grades up.
I feel like such a nag when I answer these kind of questions, but I see things differently now that I'm an adult. I guess none of this would have happened if Jessica had just turned the purse into a teacher immediately. The fact that you knew exactly what was in the purse was not in your favor. You probably didn't know Jessica took the gum. I believe you. I don't think you're in trouble for that. I think they punished you because you didn't report Erin's purse missing when you found out, and you looked inside. The message I think they are trying to get across is: turn in "found" item immediately.
Try not to be mad at the rules. In my experience, it's better to direct that anger towards the rule breakers. (What a square I am! )

[♥ Kathryn ♥]

You guys shouldn't have even looked inside her purse in the first place, then you wouldn't be in this situation.

[lpscollector4life]

No ya ain't! I was just mad so yea. ISS for us is doing all the school work but it counts as 0s and it will NEVER be made up. Plus our participation part. I feel bad for not turning the purse in, but we just about to go to lunch and Erin had also left her lunchbox. It was frustrated for making a 91 on a quarterly final. I would really like to smack myself. I am not the one who likes to tell on people so thats why. I just really can't believe Erin brought that stuff to school.
Why didn't she get in trouble- I don't know. I mean, that's also breaking rules!

[mrs"e"]

She didn't get in trouble because of how it all went down. If they were to punish her, her parents could get mad and could actually press charges on the ones responsible for looking through her purse, and stealing from it.

[tookmo]

We've just gone thru something very similar and completely innocent. I had my dd approach the teacher before class to discuss what she could do today to rectify the situation because what was done was already done.

It turned around extremely positive because of the approach she took with the teacher (admitting wrong even though she wasn't the one; she did take responsibility for allowing herself to remain in the situation after the fact). She's received several essays, some extra duties in the classroom, and humility.

The teacher was disappointed in dd but impressed by her honesty and willingness to fix the situation after the fact. I find teachers now a days more impressed by the students who ASK WHAT THEY NEED FROM THE TEACHER TO DO rather than those who become bitter with themselves at there own disappointments and do nothing to move forward.

It's only natural to really feel sick inside at what's taken place, but you can rise above this after the initials feelings of anxiety pass. An awesome Grade Point Average is something to be proud about, so where your pride inside and continue to let the goodness seep out.

Eventually, you'll feel better and you'll see your teachers trusting you again and burying the past. Your teachers are adults and will view this differently from an emotional level and it'll be easier for you to get back to yourself and your routines.

Learn from this and move on. Go for a run, a swim, or a new fitness class to release some of the stress you are feeling, so you can have a peaceful weekend.

Take Care. <><

[starchaser022]

I graduated from High School not too long ago (it sounds like you might be in middle school or high school), so I can see where you are coming from, but trust me this is just a little bump in the road. It is okay to mess up now and again and you'll gain experience and learn from those mistakes, as long as you realize that the action you took was a mistake. I wouldn't worry about your grade point average, I know that you think it is important now, but it won't affect the rest of your life. When you're in college, professors won't consult your middle school/high school record to investigate why your average was a little lower one year. They realize that no one is perfect.

In High School and in Middle School I was definitely a perfectionist, I had to get an "A" on every assignment and I would become disappointed in myself if I didn't achieve that goal. However, upon graduating High School I learned a very important lesson. High School is an isolated portion of your life, and it does not dictate the rest of your life. Sure, I got great grades in High School and yes those grades did help me to get into College, but once I got to college I was one of thousands. High School didn't matter anymore, no one cared that I was apart of the National Honors Society or that English was my best Subject. It is a whole new world and this is when you get to choose the direction you want your life to take. My point is, getting good grades is great, but when you look at the bigger picture just make sure you realize that good grades aren't your whole life.

[lpscollector4life]

The only reason we looked in her purse was to see who it belonged too. But Jess, who is soo curious, had to look closly. We went to lunch, came back and the bag was unzipped. I think Erin doesn't really care about the gum, but we could tell our VP or our P and she would also get suspended. We have tight rules because of going to a private school and to get accepted, you have to have a stupid interview and you gotta show the secretary last years report cards. I like it but I also hate it. Even for talking in class, their are unusual consequences. I don't know them at all. They always change the rules.I can't stand that. All I know is I am mad at my homeroom teach, Mrs. Caum. The whole time she was talking to us about steeling and stuff, she was staring at me and Jessi out of our class. I wanted to go up there and say I didn't do it, but not to her. We didn't steel from her purse which Mrs.Caum thinks we did, though I have every already 13 witnesses. Oh, and I'm sorry, I ment Biology. Why did I say science? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I want to slap myself. If we would of just turned it into Mr.Rosseau, our biology guy, we wouldn't of had this mess. He would of looked inside and see who it belonged to, then see the stuff. Thanks 4 commenting! Now to get ready for stupid ISS. The only reason I want good grades is I've made them all my life and I don't want to stop now!

[tookmo]

What you DO is far more important than what you say.

The only thing you need to remember is that your actions speak FAR LOUDER than your words.

In the end, your words are forgotten, but your actions are seen and replicated.

Good Luck. Be careful when you are venting, because some people don't understand it and think you are stirring things up again. Best to drop it and not discuss it any further.

Keep us updated on the outcome. Tootles

[lpscollector4life]

OK. Which really, Erin really doesn't care about the gum, just some one could tell the VP! She would get it! Sorry yall! This was just an OMG! Thing. Which we have 1 and 1/2 weeks off of school so yeah! Until they found the thief, we were in ISS! They found her and it was some little 7th grader who was "just playing a joke!" We are no longer in ISS, but we cannot retake our finals we had that day!

[mrs"e"]

So you were proved falsely accused, and they still punished you by not allowing you to retake the final? That doesn't make sense. If what you're saying is true, then you need to get your parents involved. If you didn............................blah blah blah! Whatever, I have a head ache. I hate acting like everything is cool. Your stories are FULL of supernova inconsistencies. In your original post, you said you were not going to that school anymore. And that you had cheer offs against your now old school. I guess you forgot about that line, huh? So, what was that about?

[lpscollector4life]

Before I am transfered, they wanted me to do that and we still have to finish the registration and that junk. Im going there in a few days- after fall brake really. Sorry if it is confusing. Im not the most perfect at readable stuff. Anyway, I hate my school but ya. They said we were the ones who did it because we and Erin were the only ones who new about the gum besides ******** who did it. We are now punished for looking which is fair but still, I am in the south so the people who make up rules are hillbillys. I will just delete this so it doesn't confuse anyone else. I said I WILL have cheeroffs, not yet, besides I need to get new uni. and that. I am terrible at trying to rewrite stories of what hapened. As you can see. I am trying to tell you everything except who did it for reasons. I will delete if that is fine. Anyway, I'm not trying for this to sound like its made up cause it aint but trying to figure out what happened before I started crying. Please believe me. The last thing I want is for people to think I just try to lye to get attention or something like that. I am a terrible typist and language is my total worst subject ever. So yeah. Maybe I should of put in less info or something. I am sorry. I can pm you everything that happened in a clearer form if you want e.

[mrs"e"]

Oct 9, 2008 8:17:48 GMT -5 lpscollector4life said:

We are now punished for looking which is fair but still, I am in the south so the people who make up rules are hillbillys. I can pm you everything that happened in a clearer form if you want e.

I'm in the South, too. Please try to be a little more thoughtful when you post; this could offend all of us "hillbilly's" from the South. And there is no need to PM me. I understand the story. Thanks.

[lpscollector4life]

Ohh, sorry. It was a figure of speech. I am from Georgia and we have everything from mudbogs to Ms. Grits pageants. None of y'all are hillbillys! Your too polite. Sorry if I offended you. E, I think we are going to be good friends! Oh, and just call me Kenzee.

[mrs"e"]

I can tell we're going to be the best of friends, Kenzee.